merry christmas kiddos

I'm going to be honest, I thought about doing a Pinteresty-lovey-dovey-oh-how-adorbs type Christmas card this year. We clean up nice.

Picture it: Snow gently falling as we tenderly embrace along the lake shore. A sweet kiss on the forehead with the city lights twinkling behind us. Holding hands and looking backwards over our shoulders while cheesing for the camera.  Or maybe a smile-worthy, heart warming mishap with a string of lights, tangling us together into a PG-13 kiss.

Then I realized that's silly. We don't skip around town gazing into each other's eyeballs. Well, not all the time.... and besides, that's what everyone else is doing. Which is lame. Because I've walked around and I hardly ever see people striking a traditional Christmas card pose during my day to day activities.

So I present to you, Ben & Brit's real life Christmas card(s):

cats wearing clothes, cell phone, wine, mess.

Merry Christmas :)

fa la la la la

la la la la

xoxo, b

turkey recap

Pre-Turkey Tuesday:

My last day at the jewelry store. Smash made me a pink sash and a glittery pink crown that I wore the majority of the day like a preschool princess. Roughly 1.7 million things went wrong and required me to fix them, so I didn't get much time to just hang out with my coworkers. After the store closed at 7, Smash and Co. popped open a bottle of bubbly and gave my "eugoogly"...which I had jokingly requested. Or not jokingly. After the beautiful eugoogly, we headed to Mexico for dinner and dranks.

I'm horrible, awful, no-good at having things hit me right away. Seriously. Which is part of the reason that I generally don't get too emotional......until a week and a half later when Ben finds me on the couch with a cup of coffee and mascara-face. As a whole, I'm 100% time-consuming and tiring to understand... literally a waltzing contradiction.

_________________________________________________

Turkey Time:

Having two families too close to each other makes for filling holidays. Turkey day was no exception. A late lunch turned into dinner at my parent's house, and after wiping the gravy from our faces we were at Ben's side of the family enjoying desserts and falling asleep on the couch.
Unlike last year, no one stood up and announced any life-altering news. 

Also unlike last year, Ben and I did zero Black Friday shopping. Instead, we slept in and I telephoned my mom (who was downstairs) to bring us a couple of coffees in bed. She said no.
In my defense, 1: It worked the last time 2: At least I tried and 3: Brilliant idea, right?

__________________________________________________

Saturday & Sunday:

To make the next tidbit make sense, I need to confess that Ben and I are raising spoiled thug cats. Long haired, fluffy, spoiled, social butterfly thugs named Paris and Nicole.

These little thugs stayed home alone for 2 nights while we went home for Thanksgiving. 

When we got home to the apartment Saturday afternoon, we found half eaten cookies all over the kitchen and scattered around the living room floor. The cute ceramic food bowl with the the painted blue script of Tuna Breath was mercilessly thrown in true riot state into the mecca of the chaos. Clumps of long black hair adorned the once cozy home that had- from all accounts- transformed into a gladiator coliseum only hours earlier when the last bit of cat food was nibbled and the undeniable possibility of certain death first crept to attention.

So we fed the monsters, and they fell asleep purring and cuddled up together. Because in all likelihood they are also un-medicated bipolars as well.

And now it's officially time for Christmas!
Which means Christmas music, Christmas decorations, Christmas cats, Christmas everything at all hours of the day and night. Christmas!!

xoxo, b

it's the end of the world as we know it

Apparently today is the last day of civilization according to the Mayan calendar.
Well, I forgot to pencil that little detail in on my calendar and completely forgot about it.
So I will not be celebrating the end of the world today, ancient Indians.
What I will be celebrating is that it's nearly CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! Which of course makes me giddy like a schoolgirl

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

There was a big old snowstorm yesterday. Up until noon it was a wonderfully depressing steady downpour of rain. Then the depressing rain turned to frozen flakes of fun, and a lot of my favorite-- big, fatty snowflakes.

We closed the jewelry store at 3:30, right when the snow was starting to go bonkers. It will never cease to amaze me that people will bundle up, bundle up the kids who have a snowday, and drive in such weather to have their ring cleaned. Not really the time for errands. Run that shhhht under some tap water instead you maniacs.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I went back to LM a couple days ago and made cookies with my mom. I also shook every single present under the tree, and partially unwrapped the ones in gift bags. Yes mom, I should know better by now. And yes mom, I realize that you also know better by now since the present in the gift bag wasn't even for me...

fa la la la la

Ben and I watched "Christmas Vacation" last night. Slight correction: I watched it and snort-laughed along with those silly Griswolds. Ben watched it, watched me, and then fell asleep.


xoxo, b

cat with eyeliner

My parents rescued [another] cat. This kitty- RJ- has clinically proven ADHD. He looks like he is wearing emo eyeliner. He stole my peanut butter cookie, and then tried to take another right from my mouth. He's a mental spaz-cake.

He should fit in just fine with my parents.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Ben's holiday work party was this last Friday. I miraculously had off that same day, so we drove down to IL together bright and freakin' early in the morning. I sang and seat-danced to Christmas music on the hour ride there, and Ben reminded me that I was not invisible while in a car. Exactly sweet cheeks, more like on stage...

I did some solid Christmas shopping, coffee drinking, and time killing while Ben was at work. I even saw the Griswold's family roadster with a dead christmas tree strapped on top of it. I took a blurry picture on my dumb-dumb phone and texted it to numerous contacts to share the joy of what I had just seen. Then I went in the mall and mall Santa waved at me. I texted my sista Branners right away to make her jealous of my amazing good fortune. She replied "he has to be nice to kids and retards... that's what he's paid for." Clever.

Then the holiday work party finally started, and I was able to have my X-Rated mixed drink and fried shrimp and fancy pizza and sliders. And all was pretty much good in the world.

Sidenote pet peeve: If you're going to start giving a grand diagnosis in front of everyone on how I'm so skinny and should eat a sandwhich, then the least you could do is buy me a damn sandwhich Dr. Nobody. Then I'd have a burger to go with your stupid opinion. And make sure it has pickles and extra cheese on it.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Benjamin has been sick for the last couple of days. I got him pretty filled up with cough drops, NyQuil, orange juice, and even some homemade chicky noodle soup. I was pretty determined not to fall victim to the same monstrosity that made my husband become a whiney lump on the couch.

I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat. Not cool life, not cool.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

As soon as my mom gets her life together and finishes up work, we are going to make Christmas cookies. It will be glorious and sugar-filled.

xoxo, b

hippies on the high seas

The Ellen Show-- my most favoritest show ever and member of my bucket list must do-- was in Milwaukee December 4th. And I was there.

Jessica and I showed up to Walgreens with our ugly Christmas sweaters, Packers tutus, and a couple of footballs for the Toys for Tots campaign. The place was jam packed by the time we got there. HELLOOO.... I left work early to get there & Jess drove in from LM. Dedication.  Since the joint was so packed, we ran inside Walgreens and purchased a big, neon pink sign. Then we wrote "We're over here!" and an arrow pointed towards us. It was beautiful for the time it was used. Then it got even more packed, and everyone in front of us had a sign. But I was not discouraged! Nay! I rolled that poster into a tube and stuck a Santa hat on top of it. Then, to really get the party started, we swapped out the Santa hat for Jessica's Packer cow hat.


See list of video proof below:

News footage... I'm holding up a neon pink sign in the far right. Please observe that I was prancing around before any of the rest of the crowd became so jolly.

The Ellen Show. Right around the 57 second mark, and 1:40 mark. Note the jumping Santa hat on a stick in the far right.

I would also like to add that we had a small Twitter following, urging Ellen to get us onto the show. So why the hat only got on, I will never know.


December 4th was also my mom's birthday. Apparently she's 29....which blows my mind since I've already hit quarter life crisis 25.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

On Black Friday (but really late on Turkey Thursday) I bought Ben's Christmas present.... a television.

Since he was present for the shopping, and happened to be the fine young lad who hauled the television box from Target to the car, from the car to the apartment, and from the general apartment area to being set up in the bedroom, he knew that he was getting a tv from me this holiday time.
****
With that pre-story out of the way, one night we happened to Netflix across Whale Wars. This show is all about hippies on the high seas, declaring their love and willingness to die if it saved a single whale. Of course, we were addicted after episode numero uno.

These silly guys and gals are on a ship cruising around the Antarctic. The ship isn't designed to be in icy areas. Most of the crew has never been on a ship or had any experience, except maybe for that one time as a kid when Uncle Greg took them for a spin on the old fishing boat. It's madness, and I plan on continued watching to see what crazy mishaps those happy hippies get themselves into.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

I would really enjoy wrapping some Christmas presents today, but I've run out of gifts. I mentioned that I wanted to go and finish our Christmas shopping while I have off today.... but Benjamin wants to go Christmas shopping with me.

So I suppose I'll wait for him. I've heard from a number of reliable sources that in 5+ years he won't want to do those sort of things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

The Style Network is doing a reality show on Packers fans. Auditions were held near Lambeau Field on Thursday that I did not know about this until after the fact.

My husband knew about it within plenty of time, yet willfully and knowingly disregarded the notion that such fantastic news should be shared with his better half.

When I approaced him concerning this most distressing news, he said, quote "Ooh shoot, you found out. Yeah, I didn't want to tell you, because I knew you and Jess would get on the show. Then everyone would know what a crazy person I married."

There is a tight, strange feeling in my chest. I believe it to be utter devastation, because I don't fall into the age bracket most commonly associated with heart attacks.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>


Off to eat cookies for breakfast... but those cookies have oatmeal in them so it's all good.

xoxo, b

black ops blogging

Right now, I am black ops blogging at work... as Justin Bieber sings softly over the sound system, whispering for me to meet him under the mistletoe.....

ooh Bieber, you tease.

====
My accomplishments for the day include (in no particular order): Finishing a venti Starbucks coffee. Black ops blog post. The things I do to feel alive! Singing along to the Christmas Biebs. Wearing my red high heels for a combined total of 37 minutes today.


xoxo. b

gobble gobble lick lick

IT'S BASICALLY TURKEY DAY!!

yum

Today, I will get my Betty Crocker on, and try to create an edible apple pie masterpiece to bring to family turkey day. There is no middle ground here... it will either be a splendid surprise, or a god-awful disaster. Because that's how I roll.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After my work meeting yesterday morning, I rushed home on a full tank of caffeinated coffee and attacked our apartment with Christmas decorations. It's great! But it's Christmas decorating... and in my humble but always correct opinion... that means you could always use a little more tinsel and twinkling lights. I'm unsupervised for the majority of the day today, and awake way too early thanks to Paris wiping kitty boogers on me until I woke up, so let's see what trouble I can get into.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

According to local sources, I will be doing my first ever Black Friday shopping with my sister within 48 hours of right now. Yikes.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Nicole (aka SoCo) with a bottle of SoCo...

xoxo, b