Once upon a time, a young girl decided to travel with her husband to the flat lands of Illinois. The lovely couple took a car that resembled a toaster oven with them on their journey. They played a road trip scavenger hunt game which included all sorts of silly items for them to find along the way, had a delicious sushi dinner and sweet pomegranate martinis under the moonlight, and ended each night with a kiss.
One morning, the young girl's husband left early to attend a work function. He tenderly kissed the young girl on the forehead, said goodbye babycakes, and left. The young girl was antsy, and excited to start another wonderful day. Moving aside pillows and blankets, she sat cross legged in the middle of the hotel bed, scouring the World Wide Web for pertinent information regarding weather, fall trends, social media activity, and ideas for her upcoming Halloween Ball to be held in a sweet old barn.
During her many searches, the young girl's foot began to fall asleep. Not to be deterred, and fueled by excitement over all the knowledge she had just obtained, the young girl jumped like a gazelle from the bed, boldly yelling to her foot to "wake up damnit!" Time slowed as she flew through the air like a majestic eagle, sleeping foot extended before her like a prima ballerina. All at once, the sleeping foot hit the ground. Unable to support the young girl's leap-- due largely to fact it was asleep-- the foot gave way and the young girl crumpled to the ground defeated.
What happened next was a fantastic slew of newly strung together cuss words and threats to the foot. Upon examination, it seemed as though the sleeping foot was merely sprained and not seriously damaged. With tears swelling in her eyes (but not really), the young girl gingerly wrapped her wounded foot into a bath towel, elevated it, and set it on ice; even though the only thing she believed worthy of elevation and icing were heels and bottles of champagne, respectively.
Fin.
- bbz
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