turkey extravaganza

My Betty Crocker baking experiences over the Thanksgiving weekend were..... multiple and devastating.

My first attempt at baking a freakin' apple pie ended with a burnt and butter-less pastry. Round Two seemed like it was going to be easier than prom night, until Ben came home and busted me for using a pre-mixed apple crisp concoction that expired in 2009. My bad. So I got my Betty Crocker buns in the car and hit up the Pick N Save for a pre-made pumpkin pie.

Sunday was a Turkey Day with my parents, Brianna, and Brianna's boyfriend (they started dating following our wedding, so I'm taking credit). Since we were hosting the little gathering at our place, I was in charge of making the turkey. After discussing with multiple individuals who know a thing or two about cooking, it was decided that I would make a turkey boob in the crock pot. Since the apple deserts had been a disappointment, I was pretty pumped to prove myself as a bonafide chef. Or at least a girl who can create something edible. 

I purchased my turkey boob, defrosted it in the fridge for a day and a half as instructed, and seasoned it late Saturday night. I gently lowered the boob into the crock pot and gingerly put the cover in place. Tilting my head to one side, I felt a smile crawl onto my face as I watched the beginning of perfection. I could practically taste my success. Ben was busy picking out a movie for us to watch before going to bed, so with one final nod and smile at my masterpiece, I left the boob to simmer to its glorious finale.

The next morning, I woke up and feeling confused, politely asked Ben if he could smell the turkey. He responded that he in deed did not smell the turkey, and rolled out of bed to investigate. He quickly returned to the bedroom, looking like a mug shot. Apparently, after watching the movie, Ben shuffled around the apartment unplugging the vast assortment of Christmas lights and unplugged the crock pot as well. He was so panicky and upset about the lifeless and cold turkey boob in the crock pot that I couldn't even be upset. We drove over to Pick N Save (again) and adopted our second turkey boob. Ben was left with intense instructions on how to recreate my original masterpiece in 1/4 of the time as I headed out to work. Blah blah blah we ended up having turkey in time for dinner.

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At Ben's family Turkey Day, THREE COUPLES stood up throughout dinner to announce that they were knocked up and expecting in May/June. His aunts and uncles kept looking at us, apparently waiting for a similar announcement from Ben & I. So I announced that I was planning on having a food baby and got seconds.

I am fully aware that it's startling and fantastic that I've kept a myself AND a pair of cats alive and functioning up until now... and that a tiny human depending on me probably isn't the greatest idea at this point.

"The Parent Rap"

So congrats to ya'll who are with child. I know what you did last September.

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 xoxo, b