confessions of a newlywed

We are about a week away from being married for a year.

No matter how long you've dated, getting hitched brings a few things to light. Aaaaand cut to written montage of things learned in the first year as a wife:

++ He's good with numbers and grocery shopping. You become good with creating storage space for the masses of oatmeal, canned soup, K-cup coffee, Dr. Pepper cans, kitty treats, Tombstone pizzas, and Gatorade that he triumphantly gathers and presents to you in cave man style.


++ When you decide to alternate days of cooking dinner... you will start out spending a great deal of time creating homemade culinary masterpieces for your mister. It will be delicious, and something new each night. When it's his turn for making dinner, you will sample a broad array of nearby restaurants and food delivery services.


++ You take care of his personal hygiene, and making sure he has what you believe to be necessary essentials such as soap, deodorant, man-sprays, and haircuts. He reminds you that even though you're a self-proclaimed "scrappy" individual, you'll probably hurt yourself or a cat with your solo mission to rearrange the living room... again.

Ben's downfall... the tricky laundry hamper.

++ Even though he's a smart and sassy individual, he cannot conquer his arch nemesis..... the laundry hamper. You've given him numerous one-on-one training sessions on how to dispose of his dirty boxers and gym shorts inside this hamper contraption by simply lifting the lid, but he can't quite get the hang of it. Obviously frustrated, he leaves his dirty clothing on top.





++ You both would rather being doing something  rather than nothing. This leads to opportunities and adventures that are generally spur of the moment, and always memorable-- good (Monday night Packer game tickets)  or bad (total a rental car in southern IL).

Good = Lambeau Field

Bad = wreck a rental

++ He enables your candy addiction, to a point. You support his odd collections of playing cards, sports jerseys, and bouncy balls, for the most part.


++ He likes new scented candles. You cleverly figure out that your day of shopping can be easily overlooked when you present him with a new pyro-friendly candle gift.


++ You're not too old to make a blanket fort in the middle of the living room and watch movies all night. Add some pizza and beer, and it seems like a pretty good way to spend a low-key Friday night.

three bed ninjas in action

++ You are a bed ninja. Your two little black kitties are also bed ninjas. You kick, you flip, you fight crime in your unconscious slumber.  He is a controlled on-his-side-of-the-bed sleeper. Every morning you marvel at the fact that he still kisses you goodbye before he leaves.



++ From the outside looking in, the both of you look like spazz-cakes. The oh-so-bad dancing, the standing on furniture for no reason other than to get a response out of the other, the lame jokes and the hysterical snort laughing.... yes, from the outside looking in, you both should be living in a white room with padded walls.

++ This whole marriage thing takes a bit of getting used to: splitting holiday time between two families, having two families, being your own weird little family.




++ There's always a kiss goodnight, always.


xoxo, b